Forums for VenomMC
 
HomeCalendarGalleryFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
Latest topics
» skylord_conner's app
Mon Jun 22, 2015 6:49 pm by skylordconner

» Kotsko's Application
Sat Apr 25, 2015 10:36 pm by kotsko

» Whitelist Example (Paste this into your app and fill it out.)
Sun Jan 11, 2015 7:47 pm by camaroboy094

» Willvasco Application
Tue Dec 30, 2014 7:59 am by willvasco

» Chishingetsu App
Sun Nov 30, 2014 1:08 pm by chishingetsu

» ThomasA234's Application
Sun Nov 23, 2014 10:43 am by Nocte

» fallout1349's Grey-List Application
Sat Nov 22, 2014 11:33 pm by fallout1349

» Keeperoftheshop's application
Sat Oct 18, 2014 8:20 pm by keeperoftheshop

» Daybrayke Application
Sun Aug 17, 2014 8:14 pm by Daybrayke

Most active topics
Choose your own adventure, New beginning.
Cyoa discussion
Favorite game.
tamastix's Whitelist Application
awesomeiscool's app
Server Advertising
Emajen, Littlewef, akaRuski and Trumme's Town
Possible addition of mods
Reer123 Whitelist Application
General_Hasads Whitelist....
Donations!
Log in
Username:
Password:
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password
Statistics
We have 190 registered users
The newest registered user is skylordconner

Our users have posted a total of 839 messages in 238 subjects
Poll

Share | 
 

 The Beginning of Lord Artarius

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Neal_Caffrey_FZ



Posts : 7
Join date : 2013-02-16

PostSubject: The Beginning of Lord Artarius   Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:36 am

I was born into royalty, wealth, and power. But I was not allowed to be handed things, I was raised to do everything myself. At the age of 10 my father sent me out into the wilderness with my 3 brothers. He told us one thing, that only one of us could return. We all went in seperate directions, out into the cold dark forest. I had to find my own food, build my own shelter, craft my own weapons. I learned quick to live off the land, but that was not the greatest challenge. Soon my brother Arkanean and I crossed paths, that was the first time I had ever seen death, and the first time I took a life. Struggling to keep from breaking over the horrors of killing my brother, my other brother Reiban found me. He was a brute fighter, but his attacks were slow and I waited for the right moment, and than struck him down. Now it was just me and my brother Vako left. Vako was the smartest of us. He was watching the fight, waiting for us to wear eachother out. He jumped out of the tree after I had just struck down Reiban. I saw him and moved to avoid his strike, but the tip of his sword left a cut going over my eye. We fought, and he had disarmed me. He held his sword to my throat, but hesitated to kill me. And its because of that weakness, that I survived. I quickly knocked his sword out of his hand and lifted mine straight into his chest. It was finally over. I returned home to crowds cheering my name. As I walked down the main street towards the palace I saw my father waiting and smiling. He welcomed me home and proclaimed me his greatest warrior.
Years past, and at the age of 18 I entered the tournament of the warrior. This was the tournament. 24 of the strongest warriors from all areas were able to compete. The 24 were pit against eachother in a free for all, and there could only be one left standing. The winner was given the title Lord of Palaven. The Lord's have been around since the founding of Palaven. The Lord's of Palaven are known as the most fearless, most powerful warrior. They are the right hand of the Emperor We were all placed in the arena, each given various items of armor, and various weapons. I was given 2 swords and no armor. I crushed all of them, and not one of them drew blood from me. I stood victorious in an arena full of blood, on top of all the fallen warriors. My father than awarded me the title of Lord Artarius.
I sat at my father's side and fought with him for many years, but now I'm leaving on another adventure. And I'm hoping that Stalgath will be the place for adventure.


Last edited by Neal_Caffrey_FZ on Wed Feb 27, 2013 11:21 pm; edited 2 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Lorenea

avatar

Posts : 20
Join date : 2012-12-31
Age : 93
Location : texas

Character sheet
Character Name: Lorenea Rowald
Town: None

PostSubject: Re: The Beginning of Lord Artarius   Sat Feb 16, 2013 1:04 pm

this is a great profile, but how is it that you left your home and came here to stalgath? did you decide to leave your home and family or were you driven out?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Confessor_Tom

avatar

Posts : 131
Join date : 2013-01-08
Location : England, UK

Character sheet
Character Name: People call him "Varg"
Town: He walks until he feels tired

PostSubject: Re: The Beginning of Lord Artarius   Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:17 pm

This is basicily the story of a madalorian child who has passed various tournaments and become a mandalorethe ultimate as is in star wars and its affiliated comics! being the son of a madalore you've followed the customs in the star wars universe: and have added so much baddassery to this and your app you leave no spice or unknown factors... You have nothing original here mate! lock your door, George Lucas is coming with his lawyers...
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Neal_Caffrey_FZ



Posts : 7
Join date : 2013-02-16

PostSubject: Re: The Beginning of Lord Artarius   Sat Feb 16, 2013 10:36 pm

Just so you know I never read those comics or new about that story before you pointed out. And George Lucas based his Star Wars Universe off of the Roman Empire/ Roman Republic.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Neal_Caffrey_FZ



Posts : 7
Join date : 2013-02-16

PostSubject: Re: The Beginning of Lord Artarius   Sat Feb 16, 2013 10:39 pm

Oh and Lorenes I left my home to make myself known to the world. And Tom the traditions of the Mandalorians are based off of the Germanic tribes traditions back in the Roman times
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Confessor_Tom

avatar

Posts : 131
Join date : 2013-01-08
Location : England, UK

Character sheet
Character Name: People call him "Varg"
Town: He walks until he feels tired

PostSubject: Re: The Beginning of Lord Artarius   Sun Feb 17, 2013 3:39 pm

you still used madalorians and mandalore! regardless of the traditions, as least George changed names and tweaked certain points to make it feel fresh and new... tbh it looks as if you have read this of the wiki while writing it up :/
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Admin
Admin


Posts : 97
Join date : 2012-12-02

Character sheet
Character Name: Rhageth Stellhorn
Town:

PostSubject: Review   Sun Feb 17, 2013 4:15 pm

Ok Neal, so you have 2 approvals on your app. 1 here, but you also have a lot of work for review. You are whitelisted right now but I would like you to change some things. Upon looking at this wiki, http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Mandalore I noticed that nearly every name you have used is from that page. While you have a good profile, we do not have Mandalorians in Stalgath. If you would like to you can make a sub-culture of tribesmen but I strongly encourage you to rename your characters at the very least.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Neal_Caffrey_FZ



Posts : 7
Join date : 2013-02-16

PostSubject: Re: The Beginning of Lord Artarius   Wed Feb 27, 2013 11:08 pm

I'll change the names, but I want you to know none of those I took from the wiki page or any page for that matter. And any name I choose is probably from something. I choose names I like, not cause they are from something.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: The Beginning of Lord Artarius   

Back to top Go down
 
The Beginning of Lord Artarius
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Wniged warrior/Brood lord
» Prisoner Exchange 2010: striking scorpion exarch by lord grey wolf
» Painting Diary - Dread Lord on Cold One
» Avatars of War new Chaos Lord.
» 6th Ed Necron Destroyer Lord Trickery

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
VenomMC :: IC :: Roleplaying Profiles-
Jump to: