The Beginning of Lord Artarius

I was born into royalty, wealth, and power. But I was not allowed to be handed things, I was raised to do everything myself. At the age of 10 my father sent me out into the wilderness with my 3 brothers. He told us one thing, that only one of us could return. We all went in seperate directions, out into the cold dark forest. I had to find my own food, build my own shelter, craft my own weapons. I learned quick to live off the land, but that was not the greatest challenge. Soon my brother Arkanean and I crossed paths, that was the first time I had ever seen death, and the first time I took a life. Struggling to keep from breaking over the horrors of killing my brother, my other brother Reiban found me. He was a brute fighter, but his attacks were slow and I waited for the right moment, and than struck him down. Now it was just me and my brother Vako left. Vako was the smartest of us. He was watching the fight, waiting for us to wear eachother out. He jumped out of the tree after I had just struck down Reiban. I saw him and moved to avoid his strike, but the tip of his sword left a cut going over my eye. We fought, and he had disarmed me. He held his sword to my throat, but hesitated to kill me. And its because of that weakness, that I survived. I quickly knocked his sword out of his hand and lifted mine straight into his chest. It was finally over. I returned home to crowds cheering my name. As I walked down the main street towards the palace I saw my father waiting and smiling. He welcomed me home and proclaimed me his greatest warrior.
Years past, and at the age of 18 I entered the tournament of the warrior. This was the tournament. 24 of the strongest warriors from all areas were able to compete. The 24 were pit against eachother in a free for all, and there could only be one left standing. The winner was given the title Lord of Palaven. The Lord's have been around since the founding of Palaven. The Lord's of Palaven are known as the most fearless, most powerful warrior. They are the right hand of the Emperor We were all placed in the arena, each given various items of armor, and various weapons. I was given 2 swords and no armor. I crushed all of them, and not one of them drew blood from me. I stood victorious in an arena full of blood, on top of all the fallen warriors. My father than awarded me the title of Lord Artarius.
I sat at my father's side and fought with him for many years, but now I'm leaving on another adventure. And I'm hoping that Stalgath will be the place for adventure.

this is a great profile, but how is it that you left your home and came here to stalgath? did you decide to leave your home and family or were you driven out?

This is basicily the story of a madalorian child who has passed various tournaments and become a mandalorethe ultimate as is in star wars and its affiliated comics! being the son of a madalore you've followed the customs in the star wars universe: and have added so much baddassery to this and your app you leave no spice or unknown factors... You have nothing original here mate! lock your door, George Lucas is coming with his lawyers...

Just so you know I never read those comics or new about that story before you pointed out. And George Lucas based his Star Wars Universe off of the Roman Empire/ Roman Republic.

Oh and Lorenes I left my home to make myself known to the world. And Tom the traditions of the Mandalorians are based off of the Germanic tribes traditions back in the Roman times

you still used madalorians and mandalore! regardless of the traditions, as least George changed names and tweaked certain points to make it feel fresh and new... tbh it looks as if you have read this of the wiki while writing it up :/

Ok Neal, so you have 2 approvals on your app. 1 here, but you also have a lot of work for review. You are whitelisted right now but I would like you to change some things. Upon looking at this wiki, http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Mandalore I noticed that nearly every name you have used is from that page. While you have a good profile, we do not have Mandalorians in Stalgath. If you would like to you can make a sub-culture of tribesmen but I strongly encourage you to rename your characters at the very least.

I'll change the names, but I want you to know none of those I took from the wiki page or any page for that matter. And any name I choose is probably from something. I choose names I like, not cause they are from something.